indieHealer

I came to know myself as hating myself for the black appearance I have. Growing up in a homogeneous white space, with white media, with white ‘leadership,” white schools, white EVERYTHING, had me believing my entire existence was erroneous, ugly, shameful, and wrong. Heavy stuff to burden a child even a queer teen with. It wasn’t until I became more aware, sober and aware, that I was chasing whiteness, acceptance from a people that historically, biologically, chemically, sociologically, economically, educationally, etc etc wanted me to fail and die.

But through genuine friendships, self love and acceptance, breaking down and understanding the systems at play, getting to know my history, I have been discovering what blackness means to my community, to my family, and to myself.

Blackness is me. All the nuisances, historical cultural references which I had the pleasure of experiencing, growing up with black professionals, black families, venturing to the South, entertained through our music, television shows, the arts, our media, and film provided me a first hand look at forms of blackness. Blackness is not a monolith. It’s not one or two sided. It doesn’t exist within the binary. It’s actually totality and nothing -all at once.

Blackness and my search for understanding, what it means to me, is relevant to the resistance of white supremacy, bigotry, imperialism, patriarchy, discrimination, sexism, misogyny etc etc. Because at the root of all those listed forms of oppression, is the power of blackness and the attempt to mask and cover. Hide and shame. Lessen, repress, dismiss, modify, codify, abuse, misuse, and kill.

The blacker we are, the more feared and oppressed. Why is this? I have been doing research on the biological, anatomical, physiological, chemical, and hormonal components of melanin and its enzymes and its connection to the pineal gland, the sun in relation to our skin, brain, body, and the components that connect our bodies to the soul, to Spirit, to the Divine. **  Have you heard of Kundalini? Have you heard of spiritual awakenings? Have you heard of cerebral spinal fluid? Eye of Horus? Third Eye? The black dot? Melanin is typically understood to be the chemical that alchemizes into dark pigment of the skin, but melanin is actually seen in every organ and system in the body, including the cells prior to and when formed at creation: sperm and egg. Melatonin is a derivative of melanin and the main chemical bond seen in it is carbon. Carbon is the life molecule.

The Egyptians with all their gifts discovered where our soul is located in the body based off their findings of the purpose of the pineal glands in our bodies (not just humans) and how it interacts with the other systems to form and maintain life. However, it goes many steps further, Dr. Ann Brown calls the pineal gland the faith organ.* As we grow our faith in something larger, our connection to the divine deepens, our connection to our power transforms, and our connection to our material and mental world are realized in this space. We can no longer be burdened with the illusionary spaces that have been formed and created from our ancestral fears, anxieties, blood, sweat, sacrifices of black bodies dying over the oppression of a people. Melanin is the main SOURCE transmitting life throughout our bodies. It’s the main chemical in our spinal fluid, it’s what allows for us to sleep and connect to the Spirit World. No wonder it interacts with the SUN. Without the Sun we couldn’t survive. Egyptians worshiped the Sun. This is the main reason. It gives us life through interacting with this main chemical to further the molecular biology and chemistry in the body.

Current and ancestral “Africans” know this. Gurus from India and indigenous shamans know this, yet in the Western world the science behind the proof has been masked. I am not writing this to get into detail about conspiracy and mind control. I bring this up because after all the reading, listening, and mediating I feel as if I have finally connected my entire self, my cells, my whole, my core, the nucleus and all it’s parts seen and unseen to my beings. The beings of mind, body, and spirit with this knowledge. I am more connected with my ancestors and the reality of WHO I AM. Melanin is blackness. Blackness is life. No one can survive without melanin.

We are a sun people regardless of the level of melanin in our skin. But to take it further, I am a sun being and am blessed and honored to have the great levels of melanin/carbon in my skin, in the well of my cerebral fluid, in the third eye gland to promote and connect to my cosmological awakenings.

From this, I received another nod from the Gods affirming my place with Gaia and the Universe. I am meant to be here. Not only that, but o thrive and engage in my power with the Divine. These affirmations finally proclaimed my blackness as not just beautiful, magical, infinite, intelligent, but life affirming. Melanin is the Source and Bridge to Physical Matter and Spirit.*

*Ann Brown, PhD | Why Darkness Matters: The Power of Melanin in the Brain

Ann Brown, PhD | Melanin and the Pineal Gland

** Richard King, MD | Melanin: A Key to Freedom

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digest this:

As a black queer (wo)man/human, my identity is one of the last to be recognized by not just the Western cultural but where all the aggressive white supremacy, colonialism, imperialism, patriarchy took over the world. Blackness is feared everywhere. Misunderstood by most. Considered worthless by many; even black folk. Accepting my blackness and reclaiming my power in it, is the single most important action I can take to dismantle the current ideology around it. It’s not the only thing I can do and is sure not the hardest. But this is where I begin. My love for self is the REVOLUTION. My embracement and declaration of the power and divinity of BLACKNESS is the RADICALIZATION that will bring down the deepest oppressors.

~Picture from the CAAM in Los Angeles. We Wanted a Revolution: Black Radical Women exhibit.~